For the longest time, I believed love meant sacrifice my sacrifice. I thought being kind meant always saying yes, always giving, always being available. I wore myself out trying to be everything to everyone. I hated disappointing people, scared to say no, scared to set boundaries because I didn’t want to be seen as selfish.
But God started showing me something different.
During a season where I was struggling internally emotionally, spiritually I looked around and realised that many of the people I’d poured into weren’t pouring back into me. That realisation stung. It made me feel alone, even used. But more than that, it woke me up. God didn’t create me to be depleted. He didn’t call me to serve others at the expense of my own peace and well-being. He wants me to live in truth, not perform out of fear.
The Bible says, “Let your yes be yes and your no be no” (Matthew 5:37). That’s not just about honesty it’s about being intentional. God values clarity. He values rest. He calls me to love others, yes, but not to abandon myself in the process.
Why was I always compromising my own peace to make others comfortable? Why did I feel guilty for saying no even when my heart was screaming for rest, for solitude, for space?
So I set this as one of my New Year’s resolutions for 2023 to stop people-pleasing and start protecting my peace. It’s now 2025, and I’m still working on it. But it’s so much better now. And I call that progress.
Setting boundaries doesn’t come easy, especially when you’ve been conditioned to believe your worth lies in how much you can give. But I’ve started drawing the line. I’m learning to give people access based on how they treat me, not just because I’ve always been the “yes” person.
These days, I match energy. I say no without guilt. And even when the guilt creeps in, I remind myself: This is growth. This is freedom.
Because peace is priceless. And I’m finally choosing me.
And maybe you’re here too.
Trying to break free from people-pleasing. Learning to say no. Choosing peace. It’s not easy but it’s worth it.
💭 Are you also working on breaking free from people-pleasing?
Share your journey in the comments or share this post with someone who needs this reminder you’re not alone, and growth is possible.
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