We live in a world where our views, likes, beliefs, and even morals are often shaped before we ever get the chance to choose them. The family we come from, our culture, the country we were born in, and most loudly these days social media, all play a role in shaping how we see the world and how we live our lives. And honestly? The lack of discernment is both crazy and appalling.
I get it everyone’s just trying to live the life they’ve been given. We’re all figuring it out in our own way, trying to build a path that makes sense to us. But what’s becoming more and more apparent is how much we’re blindly following what we see, without pausing to question it. Mass trends have replaced personal conviction. We’ve traded curiosity for conformity. Just because that’s how it’s always been done, does that really mean that’s how it should still be done?
It’s almost like we’ve become afraid to search for truth. Or maybe we’ve just gotten comfortable with whatever is handed to us. But discernment challenges that for me. It invites me to look deeper, to ask questions, and to choose what actually aligns with who I am and not just what’s popular, convenient, or expected.
I didn’t always know how to pause and question things. For a long time, I just assumed certain paths were mine because they were presented to me. But slowly, life nudged me awake.
Some things didn’t sit right, even if everyone else around me applauded them. Some choices looked good on paper but left me feeling unsettled. And I began to realise: I needed to pay attention to that quiet discomfort.
Discernment, for me, wasn’t a switch it was a slow unlearning.
It’s wild how easy it is to follow without realising. Social media sells a polished version of what “success” should look like. Culture gives us boxes to fit into. And even people we love can, with the best intentions, push us toward directions that just don’t reflect who we are. I’ve found myself deep in places I never actually chose, just followed.
It’s a strange moment when you wake up and realise you’ve been walking someone else’s path. That’s when discernment whispers: Pause. Reflect. You can choose again. It’s taken time, but I’ve come to learn it’s okay to unlearn. It’s okay to outgrow familiar things. It’s okay to say, “That might work for them, but it’s not for me.”
It didn’t happen all at once. Honestly, I think disappointments and burnout played a big role. When you’ve tried so hard to fit into something and it still leaves you empty, you start paying attention. Quiet moments, especially the ones I spent in prayer or just sitting in stillness, became really important to me. I started to hear my own thoughts again. Without the noise. Without other people’s voices taking up all the space.
Journaling (writing down my thoughts in my notes app) helped too. It felt like peeling back layers, seeing which beliefs were truly mine and which ones I had just inherited. There were moments of clarity, but also a lot of confusion. And a strange kind of grief when I let go of identities I thought I was supposed to carry. But I noticed something: when a choice brought peace, not the kind that looks good from the outside, but the quiet, deep kind, it was usually right for me. And when I felt pressure or anxiety creeping in, it was often my inner voice waving a red flag.
Lately, discernment has also meant slowing down to validate what I believe. Not just going off hearsay, but checking things for myself, even with the Bible. I’ve been asking why I hold certain preconceived notions, and whether they truly align with God’s word. Doing this has helped me clear away doubt and reminded me that my faith, like my choices, has to be lived and confirmed personally, not just borrowed from culture, tradition, or someone else’s opinion.
There’s this courage that discernment demands one I’m still growing into. It’s not easy to walk a different way, especially when you can’t always explain it to others. I’ve had to learn that alignment often looks like isolation at first. But long-term? It feels like home. I still ask myself, “Is this true for me?” Not for everyone else. Not for who I was five years ago. But for me, right now.
I guess what I’m learning is that not everything that’s popular is wise. Not everything that looks good is right. And not everything that’s offered needs to be taken. Discernment is teaching me to slow down and listen to my spirit, my peace, and my faith. To feel things fully. To choose things consciously. And to keep choosing, over and over again, what truly feels like mine.
Because at the end of the day, truth isn’t just about what the world says, it’s about what aligns with who I am, and most importantly, what aligns with God.
💭 When was the last time you paused to ask yourself, “Is this truly for me?”
Share a moment where discernment led you to a better choice or when the lack of it taught you something valuable. Let’s grow together in awareness and intention. Drop your thoughts in the comments.
For so long, I gave without thinking twice always ready to help, always pouring out. But in my quiet struggles, I realised the ones I poured into weren’t pouring back into me. That moment hurt, but it taught me this: being selfless doesn’t mean abandoning myself. My peace matters too.